The Unbearable Lightness of Being

For every challenge I endured throughout the years, the life lesson remained the same.

Live life authentically.

For me this translates to living a life true to myself. Adopting the power to say NO, learning to live holistically – devoid of airs and graces, no lies or illusions of living a life other than what is real. My idealism has meant that I am in the minority. People are content to put on facades attesting to a life that simply does not exist.

Case in point one

A couple of weeks ago, the shared kitchen closest to my office at work had a gathering of women, with one in particular, who went on about her wonderful marriage and how she adores her kids and how God has blessed her abundantly and how she lives a life that is righteous and how she hates women that cuss and speak aggressively etc etc. Bearing in mind that I am one such woman who is both aggressive and has a Noddy badge for the use of profanity as a second language – I say nothing and continue to make my way through the chorus of oohing and aahing – intent on making my coffee and leaving, which I successfully do.

Two hours later, the same woman who regaled the audience with stories about her blissful life, was found bitterly crying in the ladies bathroom. Pity for me, I had to be the one to find her! Turns out that she is desperately unhappy in her marriage, has no time and patience for her kids and is far from being financially stable. Even worse is the fact that this story was said to me with vulgarity and profanity thrown in for good measure!

Case in point two

I had a friend who loved money and possessions. She recently discovered her husband was accused of child molestation with every indication proving that he was guilty. Her choice? To remain in the marriage – not out of love or believing her husband was innocent – but simply to keep up appearances and maintain the lifestyle she has been accustomed to.

It is sad that people find comfort in fantasies. Whilst I don’t advocate “airing your dirty linen” to all and sundry, there is a lot of freedom that comes from being honest and transparent. Why spend so much of time and effort trying to please people when you are suffering in silence. It makes no sense to me. You will be judged irrespective of what you do and how you behave. What matters is the peace you have internally irrespective of what is being said. That is living authentically.

“There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal of life is life itself?” Elemillia Ucselub