This year has been the best and worst of my life. I have been tested in unimaginable ways. I have seen loss and devastation that most people wouldn’t have survived and put myself in a space where faith and hope couldn’t find me.
Yet through it all, walking through the fire, I came out through the other side a little worse for wear but emotionally stronger than I’ve ever been.
I have said it before, that my lack of tangible success in no way deters from the success that enlightenment brings. The wisdom is immeasurable. However, like my friend Viv always reminds me every other day, to know and not to do, is not to know.
I have always been afraid of stepping into my own power. I have always felt the need to convince others that my life situation is not a reflection of my self-worth and who I am as a spiritual being. It has always been difficult for me to know my own worth without feeling arrogant, so shrinking became easier. The cycle of failure perpetuated through my fear. I was equipped with the awareness but my own head prevented me from moving forward.
This year has proved to be an awakening for me. During the forgotten hour where love is transfixed, I have met people who have demonstrated love and kindness to me in profound ways.
It is endless conversations with compassionate people who remind me of my awesomeness in ways I’ve yet to even see. It is being serenaded with music that fills my soul, bringing me to tears with the enormity of the gesture. It is being given a lifeline when I don’t have the strength to ask for it. It is messages from random strangers who tell me that my words move them.
Few people in this world can say with certitude that they know what authentic love feels like. I do, and I wouldn’t have known this or felt this had my life not spun out of control. There is always a silver lining. The journey of self-discovery is never ending, the timing of all things, perfect.
I am blessed beyond measure to have attained the wisdom that I’ve needed to release my own fear but more than that, it is the acceptance and being loved exactly where I am that allows me to walk fiercely into my own authentic power. As a result, I will never again fade into insignificance. This year has been the worst of my life and yet that too has been a gift.
Sending love, light, gratitude and blessings to my SOAR family who have allowed me to be free. To say I love you all is an understatement. It is an honour for me to participate in your lives, as you do in mine.
Love and kindness will change the world.