On Getting Proposed To

I’ve been proposed to. I should be happy and excited because I’ve always wanted a romantic proposal. It just happened that marriage fell on me both times without me waiting patiently for the man to do some work.

But yes, I’ve been proposed to. He’s from India and found me on Facebook via a mutual friend. Seems like a nice guy – friendly smile and kind eyes from beneath the thick-rimmed black glasses. His profile picture looks decent enough. He stands leaning against a tuk-tuk wearing a shiny, grey, double-breasted pinstripe suit (circa 1970s era), white towelling socks clearly visible (given that the hem of the pants fall short of his ankle) and brown moccasins.

He sent me the sweetest private message:

Hullo Trivania

(Shame, maybe his eyesight problem prevents him from copy typing my clearly visible name?)

You modler or writer.

(Without a question mark at the end, I wasn’t altogether sure whether I actually had to respond to this, and assumed that he meant ‘model’ – sweet isn’t it?)

You so betiful.

(Beautiful I think he meant)

I really want you to marry me and come live India.

(Live IN India? – Either way, it’s a marriage proposal AND offer to travel! – woohoo)

I ran farm and got chickens and we can have boy baby.

(Riiiggghht)

Yours Rajeshwar

So, never having been proposed to before, I had to indulge in proper etiquette. I replied:

Dear Rajeshwar

Thank you for your sweet message, and the kind offer of marriage. I have to say that it took me by surprise considering we’ve never met neither have we been ‘arranged’ to meet but stranger things have happened! I am really glad that you are a self-sufficient businessman especially in tough economic times but I have to say that the thought of living on a farm in rural India, doesn’t appeal to me. Further, I already have children, one being a boy, so won’t be looking to have any more.

Thank you very much, but I am going to have to decline the offer of marriage and wish you well. Perhaps look for someone in your village? It makes sense after all.

Warm regards

Tivania

Two days later, thinking the conversation was over and the novelty of my proposal having worn off, I received the following message from my would-be suitor:

Hokay Hokay. Will make proposal. I come.

Best find my one and only Sari then.