Move Over Thelma and Louise

A few years ago, I was invited to a wedding and decided to forfeit traditional wear in lieu of a sexy LBD. Being somewhat thinner, I thought I could pull of the emaciated look with ease, notwithstanding the fact that my LBD was in fact a size too small. Mr G, being impatient after waiting for two hours for me to get ready, hastily gave me a nod of approval when I asked him if I looked ok. The fact that I couldn’t breathe easily should have been a clear warning. Time being of the essence, we scrambled along to the wedding, only to get to the car park of the venue and – no surprises here – my exit from the car was met with a noise every woman dreads. My dress very neatly ripped all the way down revealing my not-so-small ass. Mr G, in true form, then decided to tell me that the dress was in fact too small and made no effort to protect my exposed parts. I surreptitiously made my way back into the car, fuming and grumbling, and went back home to change into the traditional outfit.  If only he would have told me that earlier, it would have saved me a lot of trouble. That is when I realised that (a) men (husbands/boyfriends) don’t pay attention and (b) when they do, they aren’t honest. This is where the platonic male best friend comes in.

I am a firm advocate of having honest and reliable wing women to help you get through life’s challenges. Personally, I have a close knit group of female friends with friendships spanning from ten years to twenty seven years. I am lucky in that respect. However, I have recently discovered the allure of having platonic male friends in my life.

Case in point one:

I recently bought a cute skirt that was typically designed for small bodies. Unfazed, I bought it to try and look younger – but I am not too confident when I wear it. I pranced around my best female friend and asked her opinion and was kindly told that I looked nice. I wore the skirt again on a day where my two closest male friends would see me and I ask their opinion. Both agreed without hesitation that I looked hideous and my ass looked abnormal. I never wore that skirt again and I am now saved from a lifetime of humiliation.

Case in point two:

Life has been fraught with challenges this year and when I complain to my best girlfriends, all of them concur with me and, amidst lots of cake and tea, a full blown pity party starts. It feels great to have support, love and empathy. When I relate the same story to my male friend, he is quick to cut the story short, gives me a lecture about feeling sorry for myself and reminds me that I am strong and capable with endless choices. There were no warm hugs or kindness. Forget about getting a piece of chocolate cake to ease the harshness! Nooo. He did not let me complain for a second longer. I was angry and accused him of being cold and heartless. Within an hour though, while I sulked and plotted revenge, he had completely forgotten the entire episode. If that happened with a female friend, I know the grudge would have gone on for longer. Much to my dismay – or wounded pride, I actually did wake up feeling positive the next day.

If you are lucky enough to have this relationship with your husband, great! For me though, my friendships with these two male friends in particular have provided invaluable insight into the male psyche, has rescued me from several fashion faux pas’ and generally spared me days of depression.

Every girl needs one of these in her life – go out and find your male bestie!

PS. Purely platonic with full disclosure to partners though! Just ask Mr G, who nods in approval as I gave an exaggerated recount of how badly said male friend hurt my feelings (I am sure he wasn’t actually listening though).

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Letizia Pillay
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Letizia Pillay

I love it and you are so right. We all need a male best friend.