It’s a weird and wonderful concept to be indefatigable in the pursuit of love. If, like me, you’re part of the overtly romantic variety, you would appreciate that it’s exhausting to live life waiting for The One or even The One Right Now.
If, like me, you’re also stupid, then decisions are made based on whimsical behaviour, ignoring logic and resulting in inevitable heart ache.
I’ve placed my heart at the bottom of many shoes and ended up becoming the ghost of millions of women who, like me, have debased themselves for the love of another. And regardless of how phlegmatic one can be, becoming a fool for love can break you.
I’ve staved off plenty of slings and arrows that life threw at me over the years but the one thing that tears me to shreds is having my love thrown back in my face as less than. And recently, I’ve been the recipient of that in doses. When I realised I was living just to die, something had to give.
What could have been discarded was primed and put to use. My soul revealed itself despite my pain. I discovered my own self worth which can never be attached to someone’s opinion of me.
Letting go and living without expectation, desperation and longing leaves room for just love to emanate. And through that, through being who I am inherently, the universe conspires to provide me with something infinitely better.
Life is funny. Even when it is not.